Series I, II and III owners please raise your right hand and repeat the following...

I am a (insert the Series of your Rover here) owner and solemnly swear to:


* Make sure that my valves are adjusted every 6000 miles or 6 months whichever comes first.

* Change my oil and oil filter, myself, every 3000 miles or every 3 months whichever comes first.

* I will occasionally thumb my nose at the various 'quickie' oil/lube places when I pass them by.

* Never race my engine in an effort to keep up with modern traffic.

* Lay awake at night thinking about what that noise was when I drove home from work today.

* Always include something about Land Rovers in almost every conversation with my SO [Significant Other].

* Take the ribbing, cussing and screaming that my SO gives me for the previously mentioned act.

* Never try and convince my SO that they "need" a Series Rover to replace the family vehicle.

* Lay on my back underneath my Rover for at least 30 minute a week, talking to it, and myself, and contemplate future maintenance and modifications for it.

* Make sure that my greasy garage cloths are kept separate from the rest of the laundry.

* Have at least 2 manuals devoted to my Land Rover's Series.

* Not buy any Series Rover (or any other vehicle for that matter) sight unseen off EBay.

* Understand that the word "restored" can mean almost anything, especially to those selling a Land Rover.

* Keep a set of 'car working' clothes or coveralls in my Rover at all times for emergency repair work.

* Keep a tube or tub of hand cleaner and a rag in my Rover at all times.

* Always make sure that the top ten items on my Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary list are Land Rover related.

* Make sure that any gifts I buy my SO are not Land Rover related in any way.

* Have at least 3 of my shirts and hats adorned with some kind of Land Rover emblem.

* Know all of the Land Rover parts suppliers by name, and have memorized all of their phone numbers.

* Own a torque wrench and understand how to use it.

* Realize that I don't know how to use a torque wrench, but that I do know an experienced Rover mechanic on a first name basis.

* Keep a record book of my Land Rover's maintenance history.

* Show that record book to everyone that comes over as if were pictures of a brand new baby.

* Explain to my SO that my Land Rover is my baby.

* Learn to recite in my head your Rover's entire maintenance schedule so I can do it while brushing my teeth.

* Know that there is no such thing as a trouble free 35 year old vehicle.

* Know exactly how many miles I have left to drive before I run out of gas.

* Have all the necessary parts and tools ready for when I break down.

* Know all the phone numbers I need to call if I can't fix it.

* Learn how to set up and adjust the points in my Rover.

* Learn how to drive my Rover with a broken half shaft.

* Learn to keep a spare half shaft and tune up parts in my Rover.

* Make sure the top 3 favorite web sites on my browser are all Land Rover related.

* My desk at work has Land Rover related items on it.

* Make sure that when anyone at my work has a problem with their Land Rover, I am the first person they call.

* Not allow anyone with less than 5 years Rover experience to add or take any fluids to or from my Land Rover for any reason.

* And finally, understand that I am a Land Rover nut and not everyone can comprehend this ability and may not understand why I eat, drink, breath, stink and sleep Land Rovers. I can only accept that I do and therefore, will act and behave accordingly...

So (please) help me [insert your deity here].

You may now lower your right hand ;-)

This section was adapted from a great piece by Steven Johnson.

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